The Power of Dialogue

Dialogue combined with open listening is extremely powerful. Consider a time in your life when you really needed to share your fear or your sorrow or your confusion with someone. Your purpose for sharing was not to get advice from the listener, or have the listener question you, or have the listener fix it for you, or have the listener share when a similar thing happened to them or have the listener do anything ... other than just listen and be there for you. Chances are the listener probably reacted and did at least one of the things that I mentioned above. How did that make you feel? Maybe disappointed, maybe frustrated, maybe even angry - all valid, but you still have not fully processed the original emotion.

Now consider sharing the same fear or sorrow or confusion with someone who doesn't jump in to do anything with it. That listener respects that your emotion is in fact your unique reaction - based on your own physiology, history, perceptions and values - to that particular circumstance. That listener trusts that you have your own answers, and simply, but genuinely, acknowledges what you are experiencing - the uncontrollable aspect of your fear or the indescribable depth of your sorrow or the helplessness of your confusion. This is a listening technique developed by the founder of humanist psychology, Carl Rogers.

Let me offer a personal example ... a while ago my mother found a lump in her breast. I received tremendous offerings of sympathy and support from a huge circle of friends. Oftentimes, it was prefaced with something like, "You must be feeling ... (insert adjectives like 'scared', 'sad', 'overwhelmed', etc. ). I know that is how I would feel if I were in your shoes."

But the reality was that I wasn't experiencing any of those emotions - I was actually feeling somewhat 'detached' from the whole thing. I wasn't intentionally suppressing or ignoring my emotions - I just wasn't reacting the way many people expected me to react. It really felt like it wasn't worth any emotional energy until I knew exactly what the prognosis and treatment were. And for those of you who have a loved one who has had cancer, you can respect that it is a drawn out, sequential process of tests and specialists before you truly know what you are up against.

Meanwhile, in the face of receiving those well-meaning comments, it severely narrowed down the circle of people with whom I could share my confusion about my 'detached' feeling. What I needed most was someone who would just listen and acknowledge the validity of my reaction - not as a judgment that "yes, it is an acceptable reaction", but that my reaction is valid simply because it is my reaction. Just that acknowledgment, which I was able to receive from my very loving husband, allowed me to let go of the conflict that I felt around my reaction, and refocus on supporting my parents in any way possible.

The dialogue techniques used in a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (PRYT) session encourage you to share, explore, and accept what it is you are experiencing in the moment. You will never be prodded by me to delve into anything you don't want to explore. Never once will I offer you advice or my perspective, as the process of doing that shifts the emphasis from you to me. A PRYT session is about connecting with the essence of you and exploring the beautifully complex, and unknowingly intertwined aspects that make you uniquely you.

I schedule private sessions during the "Available for Private Yoga Therapy Sessions" slots noted on the calendar. Be aware that the calendar reflects my general availability on a weekly basis, but does not reflect sessions I have already booked. Please contact me if you would like to schedule a session.